untitled

Tahun-tahun belakangan ini kata-kata itu semakin sering terdengar. Rupanya di usia kepala dua ini, teman-teman saya semakin mengakui kalau dalam hidup ini kita selalu memilih untuk mengambil suatu paket dan meninggalkan paket lainnya. Dan mestinya juga sadar, paket manapun yang diambil berisi konsekwensi yang tidak mau tau dengan ketidaksiapan. Kata-kata itu bukan cuma terngiang-ngiang belakangan ini, tetapi benar-benar menjelma lengkap dengan konsekwensinya. Seringkali memang hidup adalah tentang pilihan dan seringkali pilihan itu adalah konsekwensi dari keterbatasan. Keterbatasan waktu, keterbatasan energi, keterbatasan hati dan pikiran. Dan saya memilih untuk mensyukuri segalanya. Keterbatasan dan ketidakterbatasan. Saya memilih menikmati setiap rasa yang mampir termasuk rasa pusing campur sedih campur geli yang melanda sampai beberapa jam yang lalu. Memilih untuk tersenyum detik ini.

At first I was afraid.
I was petrified.
I kept thinking I could never live
Without you by my side.
But then I spent so many nights
Just thinking how youd done me wrong.
I grew strong.
I learned how to get along.

And so youre back from outer space.
I just walked in to find you here
Without that look upon your face.
I should have changed my fucking lock.
I would have made you leave your key
If Id have known for just one second
Youd be back to bother me.

Oh now go.
Walk out the door.
Just turn around now.
Youre not welcome anymore.
Werent you the one
Who tried to break me with desire?
Did you think Id crumble?
Did you think Id lay down and die?
Oh not i.

I will survive.
As long as I know how to love
I know Ill be alive.
Ive got all my life to live.
Ive got all my love to give.
I will survive.
I will survive.

It took all the strength I had
Just not to fall apart.
Im trying hard to mend
The pieces of my broken heart.
And I spent oh so many nights
Just feeling sorry for myself.
I used to cry.
But now I hold my head up high.

And youll see me with somebody new.
Im not that stupid little person
Still in love with you.
And so you thought youd just drop by,
And you expect me to be free.
But now Im saving all my lovin
For someone whos lovin me.

Oh now go.
Walk out the door.
Just turn around now.
Youre not welcome anymore.
Werent you the one
Who tried to break me with desire?
Did you think Id crumble?
Did you think Id lay down and die?
Oh not i.

I will survive.
As long as I know how to love
I know Ill be alive.
Ive got all my life to live.
Ive got all my love to give.
I will survive.
I will survive.